Brandon & Kristen – May 20, 2013

10 years ago we had a conversation, “what if we were married?”

There was no proposal, no engagement. No rings, no flowers or photos taken. No ceremony. In May of 2013, we rode our bikes downtown Redwood City to the city hall and asked the clerk, “how do you get married?” She showed us the paperwork and explained we needed a signature and to turn the paperwork back in. That’s it. 

We stepped outside and asked ourselves, “do we know anyone ordained?” Our tattoo shop, Hold Fast, was around the corner then, so we walked over and asked the shop owners if either were actually ordained. Turned out Todd was. So, with Craig as our witness, we signed the paper. Standing in a familiar & comfortable place, with people of whom we trusted in uniquely intimate ways, we were legally wed. (I later paid them in homemade cookies for playing their part in our unexpected day.)

We giddily returned to city hall within the hour to turn in our completed paperwork, much to the clerk’s surprise. We probably ate tacos afterwards. That would track for us (as our favorite pupusaria had already closed down, RIP Amelia’s). But I honestly don’t remember. I do remember giggling on our ride home, just us, on our way home to, and with, each other. 

Marriage isn’t something we’d considered. We never wanted a wedding. We don’t identify with the titles “wife” or “husband” and imagine we never will. Declarations of permanence seem trivial in a constantly changing world. And yet, we aren’t meant to walk alone. The only thing that matters, that’s ever mattered, is how we treat each other, the love we share & show.

Why a secret?

Why a secret?
Well, we don’t want a wedding. Sorry. We didn’t want to hear peoples’ thoughts on that, so we kept it a secret, from everyone, for 10 years. 

Why tell people now?
It’s clearly past the statute of limitation to be mad about not knowing sooner. 

20 years together, 10 years married and a summer of couples counseling later, we feel stronger and more in love than ever before. We’re both lucky that we’ve grown together, and responsible for the work it takes to stay united through so many of life’s seasons. We were 20 & 24 when we started this adventure! College, careers, moves & plenty more to come. 

That’s news worth sharing with everyone.